The Vow Of Organization !

 
I plan to take better control of my life, To be able to get myself into a place that I can say “I Done That”. To be able to say I done it and I know it was one massive haul but I am finally there… To think like that is a very daunting thing to say at this moment in time. I have tried to do things before now, with this blog and my youtube channel not forgetting my minecraft server that isn’t even doing anything. It is the longest thing I have done and have kept to a year on. I know this blog hasn’t being going for longer than a week I think. But I started all this what I still learning a year ago nearly (don’t worry there will be no celebration) to look back at what I was doing this time last year. I’m still Newb! I have more reason to continue now, as for knowing what I want out of what I am doing… I think I just am doing this to express myself, share my life story being a mother of five, not working yet wanting to be living a dream I am unable to give myself at this present time. To maybe start working and be self employed by working hard enough on my book that I may be able to continue the series and work on the children’s book I wanted and have planed to write. I know that all I have to offer isn’t mind blowing and something you would like to tell your friends and family about, but to me if people have taken the time to read about it. That has to be the best feeling in the world. I am not here to be a big money earner to gain followers and fans who will earn me money. I am not here for that. Like I have stated I want to share my story. I know most people of the world use the internet, most people read on my computers or mobile phones… I know there are other people like myself. I feel like I am going on about this and that is maybe because I am signed up to ad-sense and I am scared of people thinking that I am after quick cash. I am not and TBH I don’t even think I have set it up right. I set it up via my youtube and added my domains to them but as for earning money. I have no idea in this world on how to set that up. 

I also feel that making sure my content is worth reading is a lot more important than earning money. 

Even if I am spending left, right and center to get myself going. Aha, you know when I started all this…. I didn’t think I would be this far, TBH I am not very far at all. but I have got to meet some great and fantastic people online. Not met them in person, but there like friends from far away. I have got to know them and there lives and that is great for someone who has closed herself of from the world. Sometimes I forget how to be a human being. I have had my issues and I have had my highs at being who I am. I am fighting a deep depression which most days I fight really well. I feel that giving myself a reason to fight, thinking of my kids and hoping they don’t remember me as there mum who was always sad that I can be just like everyone else and have a nice home again, I can be doing something that may get a little stressful but I still enjoy doing. Hahaha, maybe one day a talent agent may come my way and say, there has been plenty like you but you have got something there…. *Winks* The name #MummaNewb is getting back into being a woman even if that means I have to make a fool of myself by saying “I HAVE NEVER TRIED THAT, OR I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO STICK TO IT” I will take longer to get things done. I don’t know many people and the ones I know can’t help me. So to get the life I desire…. which isn’t to be rich and famous…. It is to be happy again. I need to get myself sorted out. I need to be happy as I am, I need to try new things, I need to continue to work hard on making videos and posting blogs and even pulling myself together to get this minecraft server of mine set up and live to the public. I need to get my house stripped and decorated on the inside before I call it a home. Seems that wanting to do things has left me alone as no one is willing to help me, and the people that do want to change everything I have planned for weeks, months even. This is my home… me and my kids live here and we know what we want. I may have no job, but I will save and find a way of doing it all, and do it alone. Anywho, I think I have rambled on enough so I am out. Peace && Love (: