I Wanna Fly Away

This has now got to the stage where what I am doing is getting to be a day late, so all I can say is I hope you can forgive me. Moving on to what is now yesterdays’s blog… I really wish I could take on the flylady challenge, if you have read my old blog aka the one before I moved to this one. I had tried more than a few times to take on thew baby steps. Which got me more motivated…. Got me wanting to try and take control of my life, wanting to give my life more meaning than feeling sorry for myself. I will say if it wasn’t for finding here I would not be where I am now. But if that was the case I would be thank a few more other people who have helped me so much more. I am out of a place I hated to be in, yet felt I had no way to escape. I know that place is still there… Creeping around, lurking trying to make me feel things I do not wish to feel. That would be where I think YouTube has helped me overcome so much. I know YouTube is a place that you see it as you want. I watch videos that make me happy, that teach me things, that show me that I am not alone and that I can win this if I take the time to see the good in life each day. Would I say now that I feel like I can be like everyone else… ? I have a long way to go to say that I am there. I feel weak in many ways that I still look to the bad things before I consider that it could be a good idea. I am currently trying to ignore issues in my life by planning ahead with my videos and blogs, so I do not have to face the real things I should be getting on with. This leads me back to flylady again. I felt she was trying to tell me something in her baby steps, other than planning to dress to your shoes and build a journal/filofax. My brain feels so overwhelmed with things I should be doing yet avoiding them by adding other things to do. New ideas that I wonder when I will have to time to work with them…. I wonder why I am even doing this. Trying to be something… A mother comes easy to me, but a blogger and a vlogger and gamer. I wonder if I will ever be good at it!